My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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