just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You left your phone here
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