So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
