I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
