I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You pole danced in your parka.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Randomize
