I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
