By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
