going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
