TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
It was confusing and full of hummus
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Randomize
