addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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