My balls are so social today.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
