I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
