i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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