God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize