They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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