Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
