Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Randomize