And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
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