On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
