Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
