I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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