i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
