i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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