Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
