There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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