I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
