if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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