her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
