i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
