I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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