I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
