If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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