so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
