sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
