I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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