I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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