what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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