I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize