i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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