Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize