Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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