If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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