I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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