babies were throwing up all over the place
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
