Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Randomize
