Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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