Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
