..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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