I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
