he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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