You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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