Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
