What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
