You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize