What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Randomize
