Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
