It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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