the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
