my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
