If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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