i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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