Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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