Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
