I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize