drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
