I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
