So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
