When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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