I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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