Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
