piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
please come you make the beer taste better
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
