marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Couch. On fire.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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