We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Less talking, more tequila
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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