Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
