he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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