I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
